Just Had a Baby? Yes, It Does Get Easier!
Are you a new parent currently in the “WTF have we done?!” phase? Aka the newborn, hanging out your ass phase?
Today on the blog I want to provide some sort of reassurance to new mums. This is a post inspired by reading through countless posts on Babycentre in the middle of the night while feeding Lewis. And I read a few threads where mums spoke openly about finding it all bloody tough and asking whether it got any easier. And so I want to share my thoughts on it all. Perhaps it might provide some reassurance. I needed that in the early days with B, my first. I’ve found it a lot easier this time around with my second child.
So in a word, yes, it does get easier when we’re talking about the baby days. But what is easy exactly? Parenting is a continual cycle of ups and downs, phases and new stages. And it’s full of challenges, complications and scenarios that I never considered. I never thought I’d be saying “Stop farting on your brother” !
Life is Over as You Know It
It’s true, life really is over as you once knew it. I think this is one of the hardest things I had to come to terms with when I became a mother in 2013. I really mourned my old life. I missed doing things alone, as and when I wanted. I missed my freedom. I think if you can get to that acceptance level as quickly as possible, things then start to feel a little easier.
It’s a Massive Change
If you’ve just had your first baby, I don’t think anything at all can prepare you for it. You can read all the books and watch all the videos you want but having a baby is such a huge life change. It is daunting, scary and tiring. Yet at the same time the most amazing moment of your life.
The Newborn Phase
The newborn stage in particular can be so so tough. You just grew a person and gave birth. You’ll be sore, bleeding, leaking from more holes than you care to think about. And you’re probably not getting much sleep. The newborn stage can feel never ending and completely relentless. And you don’t really get much back. Your baby pretty much eats, sleeps and poos. And that’s it. Rinse and repeat each day. After the excitement of your new baby has died down and the visitors dwindle, the monotony of each day can start to set in.
Here are my reasons to LOVE the newborn stage.
And here are my reasons why I equally HATE the newborn stage!
End of the 4th Trimester
The 4th trimester is what people tend to call the first 3 months. As you near the end you’ll hopefully be feeling better in yourself physically, and you may well have noticed more of a routine with your baby. I find that 12 week mark was a game changer with both my babies. They started to sleep a bit better and life seemed to feel a bit more “normal” – whatever that is!
Onwards and Upwards
If you feel like there is literally no light at the end of the tunnel, take a deep breath and remember this will be over very soon. When you’re in the thick of it, everything can feel really awful. With both boys, I got terribly sleep deprived and found functioning through the day so hard. Just doing daily chores and functioning seemed like climbing Everest! I write here about babies and sleeping through the night.
Ignore the Baby Forums
If you’re feeling low and crap, ignore those baby centre and mumsnet forums. The last thing you need is to read how every baby sleeps and never cries. Trust me, if it’s true, it wont last forever for them. Babies change all the time. For some of the things that worked for me, take a read of this post: The Secret to a Good Night’s Sleep…
My final note to all first time Mums…
Yes, it DOES get easier. But it will feel shit for a while too. Try and enjoy those baby days, get out and get some fresh air. It makes the world of difference if your eyes sting due to lack of sleep.