11 Truths About the Newborn Stage That no one Tells You
Having a newborn baby can be a really bloody tough time. And no one wants to admit that I find. Or maybe it really is just me that finds it hard going, relentless, pretty thankless and downright dull some days?! When I had B, my first baby, I wasn’t at all prepared for what motherhood would bring. What would it mean to me to have a baby? And what would it mean to my husband and our relationship? How would our home dynamic change? Because it would and I knew it would. There were plenty of things I was prepared for when having my first baby. And then there were so many things I really had no idea about. And second time around, I feel completely cloaked in the fog of that newborn haze. Each day seems to merge into one.
Today I want to share my newborn truths. The things no one told me before having B. And the things I definitely forgot after having L. And the thoughts, feelings and emotions I’m going through right now. If you’re a new mum, first time, second, third or more (hats off!) then take heart that this newborn stage isn’t forever, even though it feels like it at 2am, when all you crave is a comfy, warm bed with zero interruptions.
So here goes, my newborn stage truths – add yours in the comments!
You’ll feel lonely
The newborn stage can be incredibly lonely. Especially when feeding during the night. I remember I used to sit there feeding B and feeling like the only person in the world awake. Of course that’s not the case but it really feels like it when you’re perched in bed, gazing at your little one. And don’t get me wrong, those moments are precious. But night after night can soon feel never ending. I feel better about the nights this time around with L. Because this time I know that it does end, and it does get easier.
You’ll have shitty thoughts run through your head
With sleep deprivation rife, as well as recovery, adapting to new life as a mum, and a tendency to lean towards depression and anxiety, I find myself sometimes sitting there during a night feed, wondering why on earth I thought having kids was a good idea. And I know that’s crazy. I love them both to bits and wouldn’t be without them. But sometimes, and usually in the deep dark depths of the night, I sit there thinking crap things. I’m finding this less the case with L. I struggled much more with B. It’s such a huge change. I was definitely mentally prepared this time around for the change. Basically, don’t beat yourself up if you’re having doubts and worries. I found they passed as things got easier.
You’ll feel more self-doubt than you can shake a stick at. Yep, it’s true. Everything you do or don’t do, you’ll question. And worry that you got it wrong. Try and go with your instincts. and trust that you’re doing the best for your little one.
You’ll ask yourself if you can do this
And you’ll ask that question a gazillion times. Of course you can though. And you are! I question my ability to be a good mum all the bloody time. And many nights I’ve sat with L thinking ” I can’t do this!”
You’ll cry. Lots.
I cry loads, and for various, random reasons! Hormones and tiredness have a lot to answer for I think. Everything seems a billion times worse than it really is when you feel tired. Or at least I find.
You’ll feel guilty
And about everything. I feel guilty especially about how little time I’m spending with B right now. Although 6 weeks in and I can now drive, which means I can start doing the school run again. For months, I was the primary dropper off’er and picker up’er. And after having L, I’ve been a bit housebound. Is it bonkers that I’m actually looking forward to the school run!?
Google is and isn’t your friend
During the newborn phase you’ll find yourself googling anything and everything. How to get more wind up, how to get more sleep, why does my baby grunt at night? My baby sleeps too much, my baby doesn’t sleep enough. You name it, you’ll Google it.
It can be really boring
Yes, babies are cute and all that but honestly, I find most days really bloody boring. It’s a continual cycle of feed, wind, nappy change, feed, wind, change clothes, feed, wind etc etc etc. I find if I don’t get out of the house, I go stir crazy with boredom. Blogging has somewhat helped with this. With B, I went to a lot of baby groups. I’m less bothered about going to every group going this time. Instead I can’t wait to get out once the weather is warmer and do some walking.
People will ask questions and you’ll want to punch them
I’m so done with people asking if L is a “good” baby and if he sleeps through.
You’ll become a ninja at multitasking
I find if L is napping, I can get more done in 20 minutes than I get done in a whole day sometimes!
You’ll care less about the state of your home
Yep, now I have two, I’m less bothered about trying to maintain a tidy home! It can wait!
What are your thoughts on the newborn stage? Love it or loathe it? I’m trying to make the most of it this time around as I won’t be having another bubba. So that means less blog posts, an untidy house, a mountain of washing and plenty of caffeine. And the best excuse ever for snuggles and slobbing about in front of daytime TV and Netflix! Follow us on social for updates on how we’re getting on: Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter!
Other posts you might like: My birth story – what to expect when you have a c-section, and how to get a great night’s sleep using white noise.